


Frozen Heart

by HumanR



Category: Brave (2012), Frozen (Disney Movies), How to Train Your Dragon (Movies), Rise of the Guardians (2012), Sneedronningen | The Snow Queen - Hans Christian Andersen, Tangled (2010)
Genre: After the events of Tangled, Aftermath of Torture, Also before I forget, Basically what happens when you think about politics too much while watching Disney movies, Before How to Train your Dragon 2, Before the events of Brave, Before the events of Rise of the Guardians, Child Neglect, Elsa and Anna's parents aren't great and I express that viciously, Elsa can't just run away after freezing everything and expect it to be fine, Emotional Abuse, F/M, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Please expect slow updates., Self Harm, There is no point to this besides my own enjoyment., There is some characters from the og Snow Queen in here, This has steamed from that initial thought, Trigger warnings:, mentions of torture, some violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:00:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22430707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HumanR/pseuds/HumanR
Summary: Elsa has spent the last three years after her parents died preparing to be Queen. Preparing for the eventual war and carnage that follows when a weak country gets a weak ruler on the throne. She expected to be betrayed, to be in pain and afraid and trapped. All of it would be worth it so long as Anna was safe and happy.She didn't expect to make friends.If they are enough to save her is something she can't promise.
Relationships: Anna & Elsa (Disney), Anna/Hans (Disney), Anna/Kristoff (Disney), Elsa (Disney)/Jack Frost (Guardians of Childhood), Eugene Fitzherbert | Flynn Rider/Rapunzel, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III/Astrid Hofferson, Merida/Herself
Comments: 5
Kudos: 16





	Frozen Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Here it is my friends. 
> 
> The inevitable proof that I have never done this before. 
> 
> I really connect with Elsa. There is a lot to unpack from her character that I think isn't always discussed in larger literature. There is an expectation, especially in this time period 1840's (The Victorian Era. Queen Victoria was super strict about women remaining in their place), that women be perfect at all times that is encapsulated in Elsa's character. One of the outstanding lines in Let it Go is "That perfect girl is gone" and we see how much the pressure to be perfect hurts her. The incident with Anna when they are children is a Mistake and her family reacts to it by forcing them apart and telling Elsa over and over again that she is dangerous. That's the Child Neglect that I think hangs over Frozen. (I am very angry that it is not even mentioned in Frozen 2). You'll probably be seeing that here. 
> 
> On the subject of Child Abuse to make clear what will be happening here: Because of Elsa's powers the shift from just Dad to King Dad is heavily implied. There are a lot of rules for court life that we don't see in Disney movies. King Agnarr is a King first and a father second. It is implied in the film that King Agnarr built the cage we see (at the end of Frozen 1). Elsa is confused at the chains, she looks at them like she has never seen them before, they couldn't have been built by Hans or anyone at the coronation because it takes longer than that and no one knew how her magic worked. I have run with this. I have also run with the idea that heat/fire helps control her powers or at least dampen them. (When Anna gets betrayed by Has dampening the fire/awaking the fire hurts/helps her progress respectfully.) In this regard some shitty things have happened to Elsa under the guise of teaching her control. Take it as an extreme metaphor for the many ways women are hindered in order to maintain a perfect aura. Her parents weren't (and spoilers for the reveal later) aware on what was happening. 
> 
> This fic is going to explore what that means and what it means when Elsa doesn't have an outlet for her 'imperfection' because she is a Queen and that means something. Like you can't just run away from things Elsa. I wanna do it too but we both can't let it go. 
> 
> Okay this chapter is fairly okay. There is some self harm but that is Elsa taking a hot bath which doesn't mix well with her magic. 
> 
> Please let me know if there is anything else I need to tag.

She awoke with a gasp and a thundering heart. The fear she knew intimately, the one that stole her life, that stole Anna from her, formed a lump in her throat and made her shake with want of air. 

It was only her long intimate history with this fear that got her to draw that first shaky breath. Then another. Until the shuddering breaths eased and she could breathe normally. She hates it. Hated this stupid fear that took everything from her. 

Except that wasn't true. 

It wasn't the fear that ruined her life. It was her curse. It stole her sister from her. It changed her parents. Then she spent two years in that room. Her parents died just as she was starting to recognize them again. Like a cruel twist of fate losing her parents to water and ice just as they began to love her again.

Elsa blinked up to her ceiling. It was too dark to see but beyond her half-tester canopy there were white snowflakes painted near the top of her vaulted ceiling. Her first rebellion, the showiest of them all, before she stopped wanting small victories a long time ago. 

Elsa sat up in bed and rested her head against her ornate headboard. The curse inside her shifted as the cold winter air blew through her open window leading her white lace curtains in a dance. It brought, as everything eventually does, unwanted memories. 

Years ago, after the accident but before the incident. Her father would give her a speech to prepare on many topics--the banishment of a lord, the rallying of the troops to war, to comfort the people after a defeat and strengthen their joy in a victory--due at the end of each week. On a Friday night after her dinner had been eaten then taken down to the kitchen by a maid her father would make her read it. She could still picture her own fat, ugly hands covered in small white gloves, gripping the thin paper filled with her own neat swooping cursive as she tried to give the speech perfectly. It had better be perfect. If one syllable was off then she was expected to begin from the top until she ran through the whole thing without messing up. If she got nervous or scared and had an _Ice Mishap_ , as her father called them when she was listening, then she would have to sit by the roaring fire until she was heat-drunk and slurring. Then, it would start all over again. When her parents had realized that heat curbed her powers, they ordered the thickest, heaviest covers they could find. They were meant to be winter covers to survive in the ice-covered forests during a blizzard. They were hell. She hated them. She glared at the wardrobe she had stuffed them into the week her parents died.

When she was younger, those first years after the accident, she listened to her parents. She wanted to be better. Slept under the covers. Stoked the fire until it was hot enough to burn a foot away from the fireplace. Let the pain from the oppressive heat build until it was unbearable, and she fell unconscious. But then after a while, she would open a window and sleep above the covers. Keep the fire as small embers. Her rebellion was meek, but it was enough. It was a gift she would give herself when everything was too much.

She came back from her memories to see the that the outside sky had begun to lighten. From a dark black to a deep navy. She didn't want to know what time it was. She didn't want to count down the hours until she was queen.

Ignoring the clock on the wall beside her bed, Elsa rose, the picture of sophisticated grace, pulled her thick satin gloves over her hideous hands and light lace robe to go over her thin nightgown, one that showed enough skin to be extremely scandalous if anyone saw her so the robe was necessary, to glide to her window. It was a large square window that once upon a time had looked to her desk before she changed her room around, again. There was a built-in window seat that could be hidden from the room by her curtains. She had intended on perching on the seat just as her father would expect. But she just couldn't force herself to pretend in the dark cold air of the last night before winter. She gathered up the material around her legs, stepped onto the seat and sat down with her legs crossed.

Arendelle was still covered in darkness. She could see only a sliver of the city, but it was enough. A few scattered lights from the windows dotted the city like stars. The lamp lighters were slowly but surely dousing each of the lights just as the sun gave a first peek over the horizon bathing the city in liquid gold. The sky changed streaks of pink and orange painting the horizon.

As she looked over the city, she finally admitted it to herself. She didn't want to be Queen. It wasn't the job aspect that bothered her. She had known she would inherit the throne since she had been born. As sure as she was that someone, anyone, would be better suited for the job, the duties were fine. As always, this stupid fucking curse ruined everything. In a few hours, then for the rest of her life, she would be scrutinized on a world stage. One wrong move and it would be a bloodbath. Just as Pabbie predicted. What would her people think if they discovered her magic? Would they turn on her too? As she looked over Arendelle it hurt to think that they might.

Elsa looked up. To Galdhøpiggen, the peak of Jotunheimen. Snow blew off the peak as a haze of multi-colored strands as the morning light hit the mist. In many ways the mountain has been an old friend and a fantasy all at once. Up there atop that snowy peek there would be no need to hide. She could have as many _ice mishaps_ as she wanted, and no one would know the difference. Inside her chest the magic sparkled and shimmied as if it wanted to be let out. As if it was asking "Please? Oh Please?". It would be a lovely home for her that snowy peek.

More than anything she wanted that. A home with no locked doors. One in which she could open every door whenever she wanted. No hiding what she was. No longer alone. But with Anna, the way she remembered all those years ago. More than anything she wanted a hug from her sister. Wanted to hold Anna close and confess all of the secrets she had to bear.

A whirl of blue and dark brown flew past her peripheral, taking her gaze from the mountain before it stopped by one of the Castle spires. Jack Frost. He looked exactly the same as she remembered him, except older, his face was that of an adult. His white hair reflected the morning light, cascading pink and orange glows as Galdhøpiggen did. He was wearing her gift. It had been a fascinating challenge; creating a coat for a man who was invisible. It wasn't as if she could just ask for materials either. She had snuck into the attic and found an old sewing machine that needed to be repaired, that had been her favorite part of the entire process, and she stole a bolt of deep blue fabric that had been technically for a new dress for her thirteenth birthday. Then of course she had to consider the measurements without actually measuring him, which would have been easier, but the surprise would have been ruined. Finally, she stitched him a frock coat. On the very bottom edge she used her hours of embroidery lessons to sew golden appliques for the bottom edge of his coat. Funnily enough she had used the same pattern for her coronation gown. The coat reached his knees and went well with his blouse and trousers. The same ones he had had since she met him. The gold appliques winked at her as if to tempt her further into danger. She should have made him a full matching suit. Dark Blue like the early morning sky with a snow-white shirt to go underneath. He would have cut such a figure like that. She was honestly just glad it still fit him. She had made it slightly larger than intended. But now it seemed to fit him perfectly. 

He still looked amazing. Wearing the only clothing that he had from his past. The only connection with his past and her jacket. Maybe it was significant that he was wearing her jacket.

He was smiling, the way he always did, even from here she could see the joy and wonder on his face. Her heart fluttered and her magic blinked; she would have blushed if she hadn't been training herself not to do that for the last thirteen years. His smile fell as soon as he turned to her.

Her magic shattered but she kept her face passive.

_Conceal. Don't feel._

She looked passed him, forcing her eyes to unfocus so that it seemed as if she wasn't seeing him, but this let her drink in as much of him as possible. He was angry. She could see the anger burning in his eye from here. Honestly for a winter spirit he had so much passion burning in him. She knew it wasn't that he was angry, well he was, but really, he was hurt. Because she had hurt him. Just like she had hurt Anna.

It wasn't fair. She didn't want to be like this.

She didn't want to have her magic be so out of control. Didn't want to be such a freak. 

He was different than Anna. With Anna it had been an accident. Anna had gone too fast and Elsa had slipped and when she sent that blast out, she had felt so desperate and fearful she hadn't paid attention to where she was aiming. However, with Jack she had made a deliberate choice to ignore him. She had to learn how to see but not see him. Not to react to his questions or worse his crying. And she couldn’t hurt him with her magic. Worse yet, he had given her two beautiful years where her magic was a gift, not a curse, not a punishment, a beautiful gift. She remembered the laughter he gave her. The return to childhood, even if it was just for a few stolen moments, he reminded her what it was not to have any responsibility. But most importantly she remembered the magic. His magic and hers. The way it felt to express herself in ice.

She remembers standing in the main hall looking at her parents and that monster parading as a man, and Jack, where she proudly proclaimed that she didn't need imaginary friends. She remembers his face when he gave up trying to get her to admit being friends, that she saw him. She remembers the look on his face. He is wearing the same one now. Pain hidden behind passionate anger.

He looked away towards the town and bay.

He hadn't changed. It was as if he stepped out of her memories to remind her of her mistakes.

She wanted nothing more than to scream out to him. Explain everything. Her magic wanted to create a bridge to him. Gather him up in her own breeze and make him come closer. Make him forgive her.

Elsa closed her eyes and leaned her entire body on her windowsill. Frustratingly she felt tears burning her eyes. She pressed her hands over her face and breathed into the satin fabric.

This was ridiculous.

She had better control than this. 

Elsa took a deep breath and pulled her hands down. The sun was fully up now. Shining behind her closed eyes. A cool breeze played with her loose bangs. She opened her eyes when she heard a knock on her door to see Jacks mischievous face. She'd better expect a prank soon. It would probably be a lot less playful then frozen inkwells and making a breeze flutter her dress up to her knees.

Elsa glanced at her bed, the covers were ruffled but it was obvious she hadn't slept under her covers.

"Fuck." she whispered under her breath. She rose, stepped down from her window seat silently, and then louder said "Just a moment."

She carefully arranged the covers to appear as if she slept in the bed. Then paced by the end of her bed before settling herself in front of it. She tossed the long train of her lace robe to the side so that it flared dramatically to the right of her body and clasped her hands in front of her.

It's time.

"Come in."

The doors opened to reveal Edmund's patient face. He strolled in confidently and then bowed. He was followed by a young meek girl who curtsied. If memory serves, she was Gerda and Kay's daughter a Jenny Lind Anderson.

"Good Morning, Your Highness."

"Good Morning, Edmund." Elsa said mildly, schooling her face into a pleasant but otherwise blank expression. "Good Morning to you too, Miss Jenny."

She squeaked and dropped into another clumsy curtsy. "Good Morning, your Highness."

"I think a nice hot bath is in order this morning Edmund."

Edmund paused beside her bed where he had been making her bed. She looked back.

Eventually he said, "Jenny, if you could please gather some hot water for her Highness?"

She nodded and left forgetting to curtsy goodbye. Edmund finished with the bed and set out her coronation outfit before turning back to her.

"I don't think this is a good idea, Elsa."

She hummed.

"If you could start the fire please Edmund we could begin." Elsa stated as she strode to the window to shut it. Just as she got to it Edmund interrupted her.

"Elsa" he breathed "no."

Elsa turned, ensuring that her long train was directly folded in front of her. She felt whatever pleasant expression she had fell. She hid every emotion from her face until it was a statue made of ice. She looked at him letting him sweat a bit, before finally speaking

"I'm so sorry Edmund,” She began with an extremely bubbly light tone and a false smile, “I didn't realize you were turning your resignation in today. If you could please let someone in who would do as I ask, you may be on your way." She stated looking at him pointedly. Beside Edmund Jack gave a chuckle, even if he looked at her as if they had never met. Elsa preened but kept it from her face. 

Edmund sighed and strolled passed her desk and the two armchairs by her fireplace to light a fire in the dark fireplace. Elsa nodded and turned to the window.

She pulled it shut with a final click that echoed in the room.

"Peppermint or Orange, your Highness?"

"Peppermint, please Edmund." 

She breathed in and looked over the waters.

"Inform me the minute he arrives."

"He got here late last night."

"What?" Elsa whirled around feeling a bit unhinged, she's sure she looked like it. Ice frosted the edges of her window. Jack floated away from her and hovered anxiously by her bed. 

Edmund just looked at her.

Elsa daintily cleared her throat. She had been doing so well. She couldn't afford any outbursts.

"My apologies.” She dipped her head towards him, “However, I do recall requesting you to inform me the minute he arrived."

"Yes, however, I thought it best for you to get some sleep."

Elsas eyes narrowed but Jenny entered before Elsa could scold him and she smiled at her as she shakily filled the tub with the single bucket she brought. Hot steam danced their way upwards and Elsa had to look away before she made herself sick.

"Miss Jenny, you are going to need more than one bucket to have enough water." Edmund scolded kindly "I will join you to get the others."

"Oh, uh, sir, my mother, I mean, Mrs. Greda and my fath-er-Mr. Kay, are bringing the other buckets. I couldn’t carry more than one." Jenny ducked her head, her face turning a very bright read, especially as her parents walked in.

"Fret not, sweet Jenny," Elsa encouraged "It takes time to get use to a new job. Soon you’ll be able to do all of your tasks with the same grace and skill as your mother. I hope you and the other members of my staff have there own party planned? Either way, I hope you take the night off to celebrate.”

Jenny smiled and dipped in a curtsy with her mother. Elsa could hear them chatting as they walked down the hall.

The room was just the two of them now. And Jack, of course, Elsa tried not to look at him, but her friends face was like a soothing balm against her agitated soul. However, as much as she wanted to jump into his arms and hold him tight, she did have a job to do.

"Edmund." She began.

He kept mixing in the peppermint scent into the hot water, which filled the room with its crispness.

"There is no other way." She stated plainly. She hated that he acted as if she was unreasonable. She moved closer to the bed, hoping to get him to see her point. 

"That is not an excuse." He stepped close to her and reached out to touch her, but she stepped back before his hand could get close. Fear bubbled up her throat, but she swallowed it down staring at his hand still floating in the air.

"If you thought this was such a bad idea you would not have ordered thick winter fabric for me to turn into a dress. You would not have made sure to heat the ballroom and throne room as hot as could be bearable for the guests.” She looked at him in the eye, standing tall, “Do not speak to me as if you have not been a part of this. Don't try to save face now."

"I can't watch you do this." Edmund looked hurt, he looked young, as if he was twelve instead of twenty-six, he backed away from her. Perhaps in the hope of making her feel more comfortable with him. Perhaps because he knew what was coming. 

"Funny,” She gritted out coldly, “you had no issue doing so six years ago.”

Edmund winced then looked to his feet ashamed.

"If you really can't bare it" Elsa said softer taking a small step towards him, "Then you are more than welcome to leave. However, it's just a bath."

"It's more than that. Don't try to lessen what your about to go through just because it’s not as bad as six years ago. That..." Edmunds breath shuddered "that wasn't healing."

"Oh, fuck off." Edmund blinked at her. "Do not stand there and tell me what happened. You left after five minutes, Edmund, I stayed there for a year.”

Edmund opened his mouth to say something, but she interrupted him. “If you could please find me some breakfast. I should be done in about an hour. Oh, and please have Gerda wake up Anna.”

Edmund nodded than bowed. Elsa waited until he was out of the room before dropping to sit on the bench at the foot of her bed with her head in her hands.

"Snowflake what on earth is going on." Jack said.

Oh right. He was still here. But she had to pretend he wasn't. Which meant getting undressed and getting into the bath while pretending there wasn't a man in her room.

Elsa rose and made her way to where the bathtub was hidden by the ornate room divider. She slipped out of her dressing gown. watching the steam rise from the water. Jack made a small squeak from behind her and she couldn't help her smile. Seems like some things never change. For all his posturing Jack blushed at the hint of an ankle.

Elsa looked at her hands and her smile slipped. Once she took these gloves off there would be no keeping of her secrets. She didn't want to hurt him any more than she already had. She had to choose. She could turn around and talk to her friend for the first time in six years or she could take these gloves and nightgown off and get in the bath.

Elsa breathed deeply, closed her eyes for a moment, and removed her gloves. Her scarred ugly, misshapen hands moved to her hair, carefully unbraiding her lose sleep braid and running her hand through her hair until no tangles caught her fingers. She heard Jack move forward with a gasp. He’s seen them.

Elsa moved to the buttons on the front of her nightgown, unbuttoning the small buttons that went down the line of her dress until just after her sternum. She slid one shoulder out then the next before stepping out of it completely. She felt the wind Jack made as he quickly turned around. She looked at her crowfoot tub. There was a thick layer of foamy bubbles that should theoretically make for a soothing bath.

She lifted one leg and stepped into the bath. She jerked away from it but stopped herself from actually removing her foot from inside the bath and hissed in pain. Goosebumps rippled through her body. She stepped her other foot into the bath and then sat down in the bath. A thousand small knives stabbed every inch of her body. She let out a small breathless scream and shuddered. She slapped a hand over her mouth and sobbed into it. Trying to breathe but the heat of the water and steam made it feel as if she couldn't breathe at all. She forced herself to keep working on her breaths.

She let out gasping breaths and shook. The water splashed against the floor below her. She took a deep breath there was no point in mucking about. It was going to be horrible, but it had to happen. She had to clean her hair, she needed to be completely submerged for this to work. The last time she had been completely enclosed. She didn't have a choice but to suffer. This time it was up to her.

Elsa sunk into the water and the pain reached the crescendo and she screamed underwater. She clamped her mouth down to keep from screaming as she came up. She tasted iron and when she wiped at her mouth blood stained her white fingers.

Elsa spat out a small pool of blood from her mouth and grasped for the small round table that sat beside the tub. Her arms felt like lead weights and she had to rest her body against the warm porcelain edge otherwise she wouldn't have been able to do anything. She opened the small bottle and poured a small amount for her hair. It took her two tries to reach her head and rub the product in her scalp, but she managed by resting her arm on the rim and letting her head droop slightly. She managed to scrub the entirety of her hair. She dunked her head under again and when she came up her head swam. She felt bile rise up in her throat and her vision blurred. She tilted and was caught by the bathtub side.

It hurt to breathe. She felt as if her lungs were constricting and not expanding again. She pulled herself up with a groan and rubbed the other product into her hair. She leaned back aiming to lean her body on the back of the tub but instead she slips down underneath. She comes back up sputtering trying to hack out the water. She eventually managed to lay her head down on the rim of the tub so her head wouldn’t fall down. She breathed, deep rasping breaths as her body tried to keep her alive. Her magic, which at the start had panicked and zipped around settled in her chest completely still. She raises a hand and wills ice to grow in the corner of the room, but nothing happens. She closes her eyes and feels the pressure of tears tighten around her eyes.

Something cold and comforting barely grazes her forehead and when she looks up its Jacks hand an inch from her head. He is floating to get closer and she wonders if heat hurts him the way it hurts her. She thinks he looks concerned but her vision is swimming, so she was probably wrong. Why would Jack care? The room tilting and wobbling as if someone was swinging the entire room. 

Time seemed to move as fast as the room spun. It felt as if the world was spinning faster to make time go so fast it seemed to stop. The juxtaposition was confusing it made her head hurt worse as she tried to understand. 

“It’s so hot” she whispered trying to keep her eyes open and looking in Jacks direction. “I can’t feel my legs anymore.”

“Elsa?” Jack asks. 

She closes her eyes a wave of nausea hitting her in the gut. If she wasn’t careful then she would be sick inside of her own bathtub. Stay swimming in her own sick. 

Elsa shuddered out a breath. She needed to get out of this bath. She couldn’t survive another minute in this heat.

“Kragen please.” She called “Help.” 

Silence rang through the room. “Kragen?” 

He should be here. He normally would be getting help when he was. Where was she? Wasn’t she in the room? She wasn’t in the bull was she. She slapped a hand upward and it wasn’t impeded by anything. Not the bull then. 

She sat up and tried to look around but she couldn’t see. Her eyes were so blurry. Everything hurt. She tilted to the side and was stopped by the tub. Right she was in her room. 

She pushed and pulled herself up and out of the tub, all but collapsing on the floor beside it. She managed to stop her head from banging against the floor by her iron grip on the tubs edge. She shuddered a breath as she shook on the floor. Her breaths sounded pretty bad. She wrapped her arms around her and began to cry. The magic deep inside her tried to spread out to try and show just how horrid everything felt but it couldn't even freeze the water droplets rolling off her naked back. 

Pale white feet appeared beside her head, the smallest amount of frost curling around the edges. Jack then. He was saying something but she couldn't be bothered to try and puzzle out what he is saying. It didn’t matter anyway. She’d have to pretend not to have heard it anyway. She pushed herself up on arms as weak as newborn kittens. She grabbed the towel that was hanging on the towel rack and wrapped it around her body. She gripped the edge of the tub and with one arm holding her towel around her chest. She stood on shaky legs and took a deep breath. Loud hacking coughs that kept her from moving towards her robe. Bright red and thick blood flew out of her mouth. Eventually, she stopped coughing and spat into the bathtub. It bobbed on the now bubbleless water.

  
Elsa's nose wrinkled at sight.

“Gross.” 

She whipped her hand over her mouth and then very carefully cleaned off her bloody hand in the water. She turned and grabbed a robe from beside the tub. She let the towel drop as she put it on. It was soft made from the same material as her towels to help dry her body. She bent down, keeping one hand on her tub, and grabbed the towel off the floor and stumbled to the bench. She felt unbalanced enough to fall to the floor. Pain spiked in her knees and in the palm of her hands and elbows. It was undignified but she crawled the rest of the way to her bench and pushed herself upwards until she could collapse against the upholstery. 

Working in uncoordinated movements she managed to dry off her legs. She carefully patted her hair dry and sighed. She could feel her lungs contracting and an irritating tickle in her throat that meant she wanted to cough. She did lightly and felt something wet hit the back of her teeth. She wiped it with her towel leaving a sharp red streak on the bright white towel. 

She felt herself sway and was caught in someone's arms. Someone who smelled like peppermint. Oh Jack, he knew know that he could touch her. He knew she lied. 

He spoke.

“Come now, your Highness.” Edmunds voice stated floating somewhere far away. “We should get you to the fire and do your hair now.” 

“No.” She rasped, the thought of being closer to the heat that seemed to pulsate out from the fireplace too much to bear alongside the disappointment of Jack not being the one to hold her. 

“You asked for me to do this.” 

Elsa pushed febally on his chest as he just grabbed her up. 

“Let her go!” Jack snapped “Can’t you tell that she’s hurting.” 

Elsa couldn’t help but smile. She hadn’t expected that. She expected him to hate him. 

Edmund moved closer to the fireplace. 

“Just keep breathing.” Edmund suggested “Deep breaths.” 

He sat her down right beside the hearth and pulled the armchair that normally faced it head on to the side so that they both had the heat of the fire lickig up their left side. He sat down and pulled the hair tools. He began to brush it. 

As he brushed out her hair causing some of the first moments of zen he began to sing. An old lullaby, Kråkevisa, where a man named Olaf goes out into the story for lumber and then becomes convinced a crow was out to kill him. She smiled. 

“Thank you.” She whispered. He was right she decided to do this, she couldn’t back down just because she hurt. The rat of portus cale was not going to give her much time to feel up to being in pain. 

Edmund continued to humm and she lost herself to the rhythmic singing and the gentle pulling of her hair. It was almost nice. If she ignored the pain burrowing deep into her joints and snapping at her bones she’d say it was almost relaxing. 

If she was honest, she couldn’t remember the last time anyone touched her where it didn’t end in pain. There were some snippets with Jack where he held her hand to show her how to use her magic, then later how to dance. 

He held her hand in his and they danced around the room. She refused to allow him to take her anywhere outside their room. So instead he had taken her on a quick paced dance through her room where she had laughed as he tried to sing every part of an instrumental song. 

“Your Highness, I have finished, perhaps you should get dressed as I find you some breakfast.” 

“That would be lovely, Edmund.” She replied. 

He offered her a hand and she went to take it but she saw her scarred hand reaching out to him, dark scars mixing with light ones all across the skin of the back of her hand. She pulled it back to clasp them against her chest. 

“I’m fine, thank you.” 

Very carefully Elsa rose as gracefully as she could from sitting on her heels and strolled over to her bed. There was a fresh pair of combinations, in a light blue cotton and white lace with a dark blue ribbon running through the top so she could tie it closed. A pair of teal stockings that matched the dress in tone and a pair of sensible flats. She frowned at them. She preferred heels. She dropped her robe and pulled on her combinations carefully doing the tiny buttons and tying the ribbon into a bow. She put her right foot on the bench by her bed and carefully rolled her stocking over her leg. 

Beside her Jack made a choking noise and left through the window. 

Elsa smiled and did the same for the next leg. She carefully put on her corset hooking the metal eyelets in with one another, but didn’t tighten the long ribbon. She connected her stockings to her corset and then pulled the two long cords from either side and then crossed them behind her back and pulled it tight again. She rolled her shoulders making the corset tighter. She breathed out and the corset went tighter. She pulled them around to the front and gave a two tight knots. She hooked the cords to the metal hook at the front so that the cord wouldn’t bulk up her waist. She pulled on first a corset cover and then a single light teal petticoat that went to just before her ankles. The dress came next. She had made it so there was a black turtleneck with long sleeves. The turtleneck had a small slip on her neck with teal and red tear drops spreading out from the point of the start of the slip.The sleeves made a V on her hands covering the worst of her scars that were connected to her middle finger with a thin string. Then a dark teal dress that was a sweetheart neckline that had a gold thick ribbon connecting the black sleeves to the teal dress. The dress had the same ribbon emphasized her waist. It had the same colors as the drops to create a gorgeous embroidery on her chest and on the hem of the skirt. 

Elsa fiddled with the buttons on her back but wasn’t able to actually to button up more than two. She huffed. 

Growing up with a door that locked the wrong way she had to learn how to dress herself. But buttons were invented by the devil. 

The door opened and footsteps walked to her desk then behind her. She felt the dress tightening over her chest and the back of her neck. As he did that she pulled up her light teal satin gloves that ended halfway up her forearms. Her gloves had the same ornate embroidery on them as the rest of her dress. 

The heavy fuisia cloak with its long train settled on her shoulders and Edmund clamps it together with a thick blue pin. All together she looks like royalty. Like a Queen. 

But she feels like a fraud. And increasingly warm. 

“Breakfast, your Highness.” Edmund reminds her. 

Elsa carefully keeps the train behind her and makes her way to her desk where Edmund has set up a formal breakfast. Elsa sat and looked over the formal spread blinking up in surprise when she saw hot chocolate in place of her usual cup of tea. 

“I thought you deserved a treat this morning, especially given that you probably won’t eat during the party.” 

Elsa smiled and carefully lifted her fork and knife to cut a small bite of the boiled egg on her plate. She sampled the fried rice and the crispy toasted bread. Then she took a long drink of the hot chocolate. The heat warming her from inside and spreading to her heart. The thick chocolate taste spread on her tongue and danced with her memories. 

When was the last time she had chocolate? 

As the drink settled with her she decided it had been too long. 

All to soon the treat and her breakfast were consumed and all there was left to do was wait for the right time. 

Elsa rose and made her way to the library where she could panic without hurting anyone. 

Then it would be time for the coronation. 

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Edmund is a reference to Edmund Pevensie from the Chronicles of Narnia. 
> 
> Fun fact: the majority of the research for this chapter involved breakfast foods and underwear for 1840's. Special shout out to The Victorian Way by English Heritage on YouTube for the food help and Bernadette Banner for creating Victorian underwear so beautiful it makes me cry that my sewing skills never improved beyond hot glue.
> 
> Anyway,  
> I hope you enjoyed this first chapter!  
> Please leave a kudos and a message! 
> 
> Cheers 
> 
> P.s. I hope to have the next chapter up within a week or so but that will depend on my writing the third and fourth chapter so I have a cushion.  
> Don't hold your breath.


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